Something about Chelsea and Brighton and Hove Albion without sounding like a tabloid football headline.
One excellent side effect of Roman Abramovich chucking his cash around at my favourite team, Chelsea, has been that my second favourite team, Brighton and Hove Albion, have been able to grab some of the unwanted leftovers. Leon Knight joined Brighton on a free transfer after being rated surplus to requirements at Stamford Bridge and is currently joint top scorer in the second division. He scored again this evening as Brighton beat Rushden & Diamonds 1-3.
He seems to be succeeding in doing the almost impossible job of replacing the sadly departed (To Spurs not Heaven) Bobby Zamora. Brighton manager Steve Coppell is doing an excellent job and certainly did well in picking up Knight.
Mikael Forssell is scoring goals on loan at Birmingham and while Carlton Cole hasn't set the football world alight at Charlton - but he probably will shortly. Football, football, blah, blah, blah etc...

The Other First Man on the Moon
user error has a story about the first man to walk on the the moon - not Neil Armstrong, but Brian Jarvis of Broadstairs in Kent, yeah, Brain from Broadstairs.

Don't use Sunscreen
"Sunscreen lotions may not protect against skin cancer, according to a study by British doctors". [BBC] Bodies are quite clever. They usually let you know when something is going wrong. Put your hand in a fire and it hurts - that's a good thing. It says 'don't do that, it'll hurt, dummy'.
If you lie in the sun too long you'll get burnt and it'll hurt - so stay out of the sun, don't just put sunblock on to stop the burning - you're shooting the messenger. You're body is telling you that lying in the sun is not a good thing to do. You'll get burnt and get skin cancer and you'll be sad.
Listen to you're body. Right now mine says 'drink more coffee'.

Robert Palmer
Blimey, Robert Palmer has died! That's a bit of a shock. I was never a huge fan, but he had a part in the soundtrack of my growing up. Anyway, it's sad when these people start dropping off and he was only 54 which doesn't seem that old to me anymore. I'll play "Johnny and Mary" as a tribute. Cheers Robert.

Recent Reading
I spend too much of my time on the train these days. There are silver linings though as at least I get to read quite a lot. If you look over on the right and down a bit, you'll see a list of stuff I've read recently. My choice of books is greatly influenced by my excellent local Oxfam shop, which has loads of cheap paperbacks.
I'm not claiming to be a great literary critic. I'm not judging style, correct use of grammar (like I'd know) and all that stuff, but what the heck, I've rated them with the del Fuego satisfaction Indicator. It's all down to how much I enjoyed them at the time.
If you have any thoughts on these books or what you've been reading, feel free to comment anywhere.

Both Sublime and Ridiculous
First the good - brilliant piss-take of David 'Safehands' Seaman by Mike Walters in The Mirror. Seaman was comically at fault for both Fulham's goals at the weekend - "Seaman wandered out of his box like a giddy pensioner trying to find his coach home after a day trip..."
Not so good was the Mirror catching up with the story everyone else heard a week ago about the brain being able to unscramble sentences containing words with jumbled letters, as long as the first and last letters of the words are in the right place (...er, it's not as complicated as I've made it sound).
"Aoccdrnig to rscheear at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by isletf but the wrod as a wlohe and the biran fguiers it out"
well done Claire Donnelly - but I reckon 'research' ends in an 'h' not an 'r'.
Or am I being too pedantic?

The Future is Orange.
Our last 5-a-side football match was a classic - two evenly matched sides, just a goal or two in it for the entire match, the 'next goal wins' rule was unable to separate the teams after an extra 10 minutes - finally it went to a penalty shoot-out.
I won't bore you with the details except to say, I went in goal, saved two penalties, then scored the decisive winner. Yes, once again, I ruled! However, more importantly than that, I discovered exactly why some weeks I play like Charlie Cooke and other weeks like Charlie Dimmock. It's not mental attitude, fitness or preparation, it's not tactics, training or natural skill (least of all) - it's all down to my lucky orange T-shirt.(see left, modelled by the lovely Mandy)
When I'm wearing it I'm ace, when I'm not - I'm not! I pray it doesn't fall apart or get sent to the Village Jumble sale like "Billy's Boots". In fact I got the T-shirt at a car boot sale. So if some poor 5-a-sider, has lost his magic touch and his orange T-shirt, Ha ha!

Sussex Rule!
Congratulations to Sussex County Cricket Club. A crowd of over 3000 cricket fans have seen Sussex win their first-ever county championship title.
Fairweather, bandwagon-jumping fans should join the queue behind me.

Homes and Teachers
I watched a bit too much Channel 4 last night. First there was "Other People's Houses" - here a posh bird (Naomi Cleaver) is rude to people who are re-decorating their homes.
She has a strange way of talking that involves putting emphasis on random words. (often, every other word)
Last night a couple, with admittedly very poor taste, had their work ripped to shreds by Naomi, who kept say things like, "Fred and Mary MAY feel that their new room IS an exciting change FOR the better, BUT personally I couldn't LIVE in THIS sort of nasty Environment".
Next up was "Grand Designs", where Kevin McCloud watches people destroy their homes. He says things like, "The project is now six months late and £20,000 over budget, I can't believe now that they ever thought they could get this finished by Christmas", while behind him the unhappy couple stand sobbing. Great Television.
Meanwhile, "Teachers" saw the welcome return of Simon, played by Andrew Lincoln. Sadly it's still not up to former glory. However, following my birthday last week, I now have the excellent first series on dvd, so I'm alright!

Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream...
I went for another float at The London Floatworks recently.
I have been a few times before at various places and have always enjoyed the experience. The trouble is, I always expect to enjoy it more. I find it very relaxing, floating in the dark in my isolation tank, but I can't lose myself and drift away.
I can't switch off my head - the running commentary never stops. I try to empty my mind as I've been taught. I imagine I'm lying on a deserted sandy beach, the sun gently warming me, the waves softly lapping at my feet. I breathe deep, slow breaths, I picture my worries drifting away like fluffy clouds disappearing from the blue sky overhead. All is well.
At this point though I start to lose my way. My nagging waking consciousness kicks in - is there someone else on the beach? Is it Geena Davis? What's she doing on my beach? Is she wearing a bikini or some kind of fifties style one-piece bathing suit? Can she see I'm getting a hard-on? What made me think of Geena Davis? STOP!! I'm wasting my time, stop thinking, let it go...but it's hopeless, my stupid head won't let go. Still, Geena Davis, eh?

Meta Hutton Inquiry
I'm a bit worried about the Hutton Inquiry. What happens if the cross-examinintions get a bit fierce? What happens if the cross-examinees get a bit upset? what happens if they top themselves? will there be an inquiry into the Hutton inquiry?

More Chelsea Mayhem
According to the Daily Mirror, Chelsea had interesting plans for Joe Cole when he signed from West Ham in the Summer. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall as Joe signed his contract...
Trevor Birch (Chelsea managing director at the time) "Welcome to the Chelsea Revolution Joe"
Joe Cole "Thanks Mr Birch, I can't wait to pull on the famous blue jersey"
TB "Mnnn..."
JC "I want to score goals and win cups!"
TB "Do you have a passport son?"
JC "Of course, Mr Birch, I'm ready for our Champions League adventure"
TB "The thing is Joe, Mr Abramovich would like you to go to Moscow for a year on loan and play for Spartak Moscow"
JC "You're having a fuckin' giraffe!"
TB "We really feel that playing for a top Russian side is going to enhance your chances of making Sven's England starting line for the European Championships next summer"
JC "Where's my brief?"
TB "You can take Mario Stanic, Emmanuel Petit and Frank Lampard..."

Career Opportunities [update]
I'm signed up for my basic carpentry course - 10 Saturdays, 3 hours a session - dates to be arranged according to numbers - cool, eh?

Career Opportunities
I'm thinking about becoming a Carpenter - seems like a decent job - people will always want er... wooden things. What d'you reckon?

Manchelsea United
It's all well and good to be inspired by what Manchester United have achieved, but we don't have to become Manchester United.
I wasn't too keen on buying Veron, I don't much like Peter Kenyon, United's Chief Executive who Chelsea have poached and most of all, I really don't want Alex Ferguson who Chelsea apparently tried to pinch during the summer. (Or was that just a ruse by Ferguson to get a new United contract sorted?) Supposedly one of Kenyon's top tasks is to get David Beckham from Real Madrid a.s.a.p. I guess next we'll be playing in red.
I may have to start concentrating on my second love - Brighton and Hove Albion - besides, I think they need my support more now than Chelsea. *sob*

Good for Blockbuster, not so good for The Odeon.
My pal Peter is in The Times today.
He's taking Minister for Europe, Denis MacShane, to task. MacShane says he wants multiplexes to stop showing Hollywood blockbusters and “be more outward-looking and let people understand that Lithuanian, Estonian, Polish, Hungarian, Romanian and Turkish films are a pretty good thing”.
Should do wonders for popcorn sales.

Warren Zevon
Sad to hear that Warren Zevon died on Sunday.
He had been told he had inoperable lung cancer and three months to live - he actually lived for over a year and recorded a final album, The Wind, which was released a couple of weeks ago.
I first heard of him years ago when "Werewolves of London" was a hit. He had a fantastic dark sense of humour.
My favourite of his albums is Sentimental Hygene (1987) - Favourite song "Reconsider Me" from the same album.
Cheers Warren.

What I learned this weekend
Sven probably knows best - Tonino and I sat dejected at half-time in the England game.
We were one-nil down, conceding a comedy goal and playing rubbish. 'Of course you know what's going to happen now don't you, Heskey for Rooney' I said with a knowing smirk.
And there he was, Emile Heskey - nice guy but not the man to turn a match.
Heskey on for Lampard! Lamps wasn't playing badly. Minutes later Heskey perfectly sets up the boy Rooney for his first England goal. 'Ah, well that was good, very nice', we agreed.
Emile did indeed help change the game. England won 2-1. We know nothing. Sven rules. Actually I should know all this as I'm rubbish at Championship Manager.

Train Hell, Fantasy Football
Despite the best efforts of Connex South-Eastern, I was a mere ¾ hour late home last night.
The previous night some passengers were trapped on a Connex train on my line for 3½ hours 500 yards from a station. Connex really is fucked up, but I don't want to go on about it because it makes me too gloomy.

So I was only 5 minutes late for 5-a-side football last night, and played a blinder. Highlights were
1). a mazey dribble down the right, past two players and hammered home past the helpless 'keeper - the crowd (in my head) went wild.
2). Opposing goalie, Tonino Grande, attempted to dribble past me out of his goal, but we collided with a huge impact, the ball flew up in the air, as it came down I got a head to it (as Brian Moore would have said) and nodded it over the stranded Tonino for a rare headed goal (unusual for indoor 5-a-side).
To be fair Tonino probably could have strolled back and stopped the ball before it reached the net, but in a rare sporting gesture he paused to check that I wasn't injured - sucker! haha! goal!.

Garth Crooks caught up with me in the tunnel later...
GC - "Goals, a strong midfield presence and some cool goalkeeping, you must be pleased Angelo"
Angelo del Fuego - "Yes Garth, very pleased, it was an outstanding performance all round, amazing goals, great skill"
GC - "...a good team effort"
AdF - "well, to be fair Garth, it's a team game, but I was incredible tonight, the boys would have been lost without me"
GC -"...er, all credit to the opposition then? "
AdF - "no, not really Garth, all credit to me"
GC (regaining composure) - "You must have been slightly disappointed that despite leading by 5 or 6 clear goals all the way through the game, that you finally lost on the controversial, 'Next Goal Wins' rule"
AdF - "The result was unimportant Garth, it was how I performed that counts and I Rocked"
GC - "You arrogant Fucker"
AdF - "Cheers, Garth"

Talking of Footballing Legends, I met the Great Jimmy Greaves this week. He was signing copies of his new autobiography. I'm not generally too bothered about autographs but I was happy to get his and shake his hand. He's looking very fit and well.
He was an incredible player, he scored 357 goals in 516 league games, scoring on every debut he made and getting 44 goals in 57 games for England (for whom he scored four in a game twice, as well as three hat-tricks).
He would surely have been in the World Cup Final winning team of 1966 if he hadn't been injured. When he was a junior at Chelsea, he once scored 7 in a game and the first team Manager, Ted Drake, told him to savour the feeling as it was a once in a career experience. Of course Jimmy went out and scored 8 the next game.
What a guy!

Things I Learned While On Holiday (Part 2)
Before ripping off all your clothes and running into the sea naked, Reggie Perrin style, it's a good idea to check that the tide is in. If you find that having run for a hunded yards into the surf that the water is still only covering your ankles, you've probably made some kind of stupid mistake. (St Leonards Seafront)

Things I Learned While On Holiday (Part 1)
Back to work this week after Holiday. We didn't go away, just out and about at home.
Here's some things I learned this week.
1). Think carefully about water for your moat when deciding the positioning of your sand castle - too close to the sea means it'll be washed away, too far away and you will never be able to fill your moat before it drains. (Camber Sands)
2). Although annoying, nosey neighbours sometimes do know what they're talking about. (advice on chopping down trees)
3). Stinging nettles have no place in your garden especially not overflowing onto the path, how ever many butterflies they may attract. (Helping my Aunt move)
4). When moving large items of furniture e.g. fridge/freezer, make sure you let your "moving buddy" know if he is about to step backwards downstairs while carrying the large item, otherwise he may be crushed or if lucky, just suffer minor heart-failure. (sorry Dave)
5). Whilst attempting to follow a car from the Church to the Wedding Reception, try to make sure that the car you are following was actually at the Church and is actually going to the reception and not a garden centre. It's also wise to have a backup plan of knowing the address of the reception. (Maidstone and Chatham)
6). Accountants are always scary, even if you've nothing to hide.
7). Nasty splinters will generally come out of their own accord when they are ready how ever much painful digging around you attempt. (that actually goes for most other stuff in life too).